showing my real.

Sure, with the internet, it's easy to make things look "normal" or even "picture perfect".
But, in real life, not so much.
Especially with blogging, you only "see" what everyone else wants you to see.
No where is it said that you have to be honest about your life, or your family, or your {everything else in between}.

on my little blog feed today i saw a post "Showing my real" by Jami Nato, and it stopped me in my tracks.
now, i feel the need to show you guys my real ;)

what's real?
i like writing in lowercase. i know it doesn't look professional, but i like it.
i do not wear make-up {most of the time} but can never be without lip gloss.
i have more pens and markers than i even know what to do with.

my marriage is not perfect.
my husband and i are polar opposites. he tends to be extreme, and i'm pretty laid back.
he takes things to the next level and i'm good with dismissing them.
i'm disciplined when it comes to spending money. my husband is not.
he has much more patience with our child than i do.
we both love her more than we ever thought was humanly possible.
my mothering is a style all of it's own {and often clashes with my husband's view of parenting}.
my house has stuff shoved in corners and under things, and in closets - we're pretty much bursting out of our seams.
my car can get messy fast because i spend at least 10 hours in it during the week {commuting to and from school}.
my relationship with God is most definitely NOT in a place where i'm happy with it. {i need more time}
sometimes i yell.
sometimes i "shut down" when my husband talks to me because he tends to be lengthy in the conversations we have. i'm not that much of a talker.
my husband likes to save things. i have no problem throwing things away.

sometimes i spend too much time on my iPhone.
sometimes i refuse to do the dishes after making dinner because i'm tired and it's not fair that i have to clean up after preparing the meal my family eats, even though i prepared it {life isn't always fair}.
sometimes my husband and i {try to} compare our days and who has had the roughest day - when really, how can you honestly compare electrical work to nursing {student who will graduate in 4 weeks... EEEK!!!}?

i lost my birth control pack 2 nights ago and had to buy another one on my way home today... tore mah house apart trying to find it.
i brought the wrong book to school today.
i lost my child's shot records which i will need for her 4 year old well check with a new doctor on friday.
i cannot find my jacket after thoroughly cleaning the house this weekend for my 4 year old's birthday get together. there was a gift card in the pocket.
i've gained so much weight since being in nursing school that i do not even like being in pictures anymore.
right now, 4 weeks away from finishing nursing school, i'm not interested in changing anything in my life because if i can just finish these last 4 weeks, then things will eventually start drifting back toward normal.

i don't like driving if i don't have to.
i will not go outside if the huge bumble bee that hangs out around our front shrubbery is flying around. i think it's a wood bee and it wouldn't hurt me, but it's HUGE. for seriously.
bugs will be my undoing. it is the one thing holding me back when i think about doing any foreign missionary work. if i can't handle these bugs, how am i going to handle the bugs in a foreign place - even a tropical place where the bugs are bigger and creepier??!!

i love reading {good} blogs.
so often, blogs can be self-centered {to the max} and just recently, i've stopped reading some of the blogs i used to because they were all selfishly written and it just started wearing on me.
i like to be inspired by blogs, and pictures.
i like to be challenged when i read people's blogs, encouraged even.
i don't want to see how amazingly darling and perfect your life is or how your children spend every day running through meadows, then come home and take perfect 2 hour naps, then eat all their vegetables at dinner.

i like real.
because real is honest.
this is who i am.
i struggle. we all do.
i need people to love me and pray for me. we all do.
being a mom is hard. i don't always make the best decisions.
and i don't accept criticism well.
i get defensive.
and walls go up.
sometimes, the hardest thing to do is ask for help.
or admit defeat.
i thank God that He meets us where we are.
He finds us and welcomes us back into His arms, like the good shepherd He is.
and loves us unconditionally.
and shows us how to love others, because that is something i need a healthy lesson in quite often.
and i thank God for my husband, and the sweet gift He has entrusted me with, my 4 year old, Hailee.
only God could have orchestrated our small family the way He has, knowing our hearts better than we know them ourselves.
only God could have brought me my husband whom i know and love more than anyone else on this earth, through the good times and the bad.

i need to spend more time with my husband.
and next weekend, we will be going away for our anniversary to a bed and breakfast near Asheville, NC.
in the mountains!! i will miss my child fiercely, but will appreciate the precious time it allows for my husband.
i need to treasure him more.
i NEED to hurry up and finish nursing school so it won't be anywhere on my priority list any more.

pinning is in 4 weeks.
THAT is real.
then, i will be a REAL nurse.
after i pass the NCLEX-RN.

i enjoy reading about your real lives.
really ;)